belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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