I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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