i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize