Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
