The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
