the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
