oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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