First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
