You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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