Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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