im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
