Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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