Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
