Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize