I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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