Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
