Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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