Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
