Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
