i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
