But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
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While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
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The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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