ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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