Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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