Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
