That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.