i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?