your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now