thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."