wat bout pragnant strippers??
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We were destined to go to rehab together
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch