Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!

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  (509): ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car! http://tfl.nu/lfwp
  Replies (13) Good night (856) Bad night (1090)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people

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  (317): I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people http://tfl.nu/qth2
  Replies (34) Good night (6852) Bad night (1095)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!

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  (850): i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her! http://tfl.nu/mu36
  Replies (12) Good night (559) Bad night (3261)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,

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  (678): Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead, http://tfl.nu/tjky
  Replies (11) Good night (4625) Bad night (1282)
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  (516): View more from New York

  do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?

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  (516): do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ? http://tfl.nu/or6i
  Replies (6) Good night (2849) Bad night (1056)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.

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  (281): Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment. http://tfl.nu/djy3
  Replies (3) Good night (1179) Bad night (2679)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever

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  (305): The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever http://tfl.nu/qxjf
  Replies (17) Good night (4369) Bad night (1508)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.

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  (716): I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine. http://tfl.nu/zg3z
  Replies (9) Good night (3893) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.

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  (818): He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type. http://tfl.nu/n4gn
  Replies (4) Good night (1746) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.

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  (845): The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing. http://tfl.nu/8zr7
  Replies (3) Good night (1871) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others

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  (574): Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others http://tfl.nu/5o0g
  Replies (4) Good night (1249) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!

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  (618): Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT! http://tfl.nu/daki
  Replies (4) Good night (1849) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.

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  (339): I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever. http://tfl.nu/09i5
  Replies (1) Good night (861) Bad night (359)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.

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  (727): He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again. http://tfl.nu/phzx
  Replies (8) Good night (1342) Bad night (345)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.

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  (408): Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/q2nw
  Replies (5) Good night (1118) Bad night (494)

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