Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.