nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
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so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
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I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess