i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.