There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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