I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
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That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.