Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from