We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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