We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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