I puked a lego.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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