Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  She is totally STD

  (941): View more from Florida

  Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD

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  (941): She is totally STD (941): Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD http://tfl.nu/ruv5
  Replies (52) Good night (1226) Bad night (4237)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see

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  (973): i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see http://tfl.nu/sebi
  Replies (8) Good night (2949) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.

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  (502): All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets. http://tfl.nu/t3ff
  Replies (10) Good night (3861) Bad night (801)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her

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  (315): well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her http://tfl.nu/gcpo
  Replies (12) Good night (1318) Bad night (4287)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?

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  (417): And my fence, why is part of it on the roof? http://tfl.nu/v3wp
  Replies (6) Good night (5268) Bad night (1214)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?

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  (401): I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper? http://tfl.nu/78fg
  Replies (2) Good night (1094) Bad night (2591)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...

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  (303): Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked... http://tfl.nu/a2s8
  Replies (19) Good night (1304) Bad night (3927)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip

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  (703): drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip http://tfl.nu/b5at
  Replies (12) Good night (3093) Bad night (1188)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.

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  (206): He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking. http://tfl.nu/jryu
  Replies (25) Good night (6297) Bad night (950)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.

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  (314): I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads. http://tfl.nu/vfmt
  Replies (6) Good night (2764) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.

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  (931): Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult. http://tfl.nu/v17w
  Replies (10) Good night (1416) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.

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  (484): dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow. http://tfl.nu/dkso
  Replies (7) Good night (1432) Bad night (556)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.

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  (904): My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy. http://tfl.nu/l9z4
  Replies (19) Good night (3469) Bad night (814)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.

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  (870): Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants. http://tfl.nu/u5r1
  Replies (1) Good night (644) Bad night (390)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"

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  (256): Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision" http://tfl.nu/n4ob
  Replies (5) Good night (399) Bad night (763)

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