Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She's the barista slut.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.