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• (619): View more from California

  Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Sorry, I don't speak sober.

  Fav 8 4465 925

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• (807): View more from Ontario

  discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.

  Fav 29 5787 875

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.

  Fav 20 4929 1250

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• 

  23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (678): View more from Georgia

  I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big

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• (518): View more from New York

  They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months

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• (518): View more from New York

  You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.

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• 

  These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (630): View more from Illinois

  Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!

  Fav 2 832 575

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up

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