so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
