It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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