i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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