Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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