carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize