You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
