FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
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Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
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I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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