May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
