Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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