You work out of a Hotel?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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