Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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