oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
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Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Cover your peen. We're going out.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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