When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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