I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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