i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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