Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
