need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
