its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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