do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
My cat gives me a boner
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize